Rules are rules, but
by souls fire
Summary: Ai was forced to obey rules all the the time, but slowly, she discovers, rules are rules, but they´re meant to be broken.AixConan, ShihoxShinichi
1. Default Chapter

Rules are rules, but . . .

by SoulsFire (former PulsingSoul)

Chapter 1

_Rule Nr. 1_

_Once you enter this Organization you are not allowed, by any means, by any actions, to leave it. _

She remembered this rule very well. She remembered it so well because it was the first out of a set of ten, she had to learn. What irony, ten rules, as if they were saying – these are the commandments you will follow from now on. They were behaving like God, treating all of their agents as simple pilgrims, giving them no more freedom than you would give a pet mouse.

And yet, she broke it. She had left. Unwillingly, but nevertheless she had left. Considering she had wanted to commit suicide, that could also be called something like an escape, but not in the right sense of the word, as her soul would have roamed the dark halls of the Organization for all eternity.

But now she was here, stuck in a child´s body, just like someone she considered her arch-nemesis. Yes, they had all heard of the teenage detective Shinichi Kudo, they had practically hunted an opportunity to kill him , and yet it was the poison designed by her, which not only saved him from death, but gave him the chance to find refuge, a new identity, a way to destroy the Organization.

Arch-nemesis. He no longer was that, he no longer was someone she could so easily catalog, because now she knew him. She knew who he was, and for the first time she had to admit she not only knew the side-effects of his work.

He was a great detective, a detective, who admitted something that would make Sherlock Holmes, if he had been alive, and now in some grave, turn around in it.

He admitted that logic and reason sometimes failed.

Like the time he couldn´t save her sister.

She didn´t blame him anymore, at the beginning she did, but the more time progressed, the more she realized – it wasn´t something he could control. Coincidences, situations he knew nothing about, strings he could not just cut through, everything was there keeping him from saving those he so dearly wanted to save.

That was something she admired about him. The fact that he never gave up trying, he never gave up trying to influence the life of those he encountered, the lives, of those who had given up on themselves, who saw only vengeance, blood, and sometimes endless cruelty as a way out.

She could never do that, could she? Would she come face to face with someone who had killed so many times, could she ever see that person as something else as a monster? She saw herself as a monster, as a monster for all she had done.

Sighing, she read the next words from the book in front of her, thinking, thinking that there was no use to think about something which would never change.

,You know, Haibara, it is not very optimistic to sigh like that.¨ Someone muttered close to her, making her turn around with a start, no emotion showing on her features.

Kudo, yes, of course, she had failed to mention, was not just the modern Sherlock Holmes, but also, a very, very annoying idiot.

,One would think you keep staring at me for too long, if you would notice such habit. " She responded in her usual cold tone.

That voice had always worked, really, even on Gin, so she could keep him at bay, but do you honestly think it would work on him? Well, if you do, you should be congratulated on your naïve nature.

,So you admit it has become a habit.¨

,Do you admit that your staring at me has become a hobby?¨ Of course her question was merely a taunt, but as she turned to him , to send a look full of dis contempt, she couldn´t help but notice the blush staining his once slightly tanned cheeks.

Cute. She thought almost smirking, before catching herself, and getting her thoughts under control.

Raising an eyebrow at him, she closed her book, dusted off her skirt, and then walked away, clearly stating that the discussion was over.

Only the rule kept coming to her mind.

She hadn´t been allowed to leave, and yet she had.

The first rule had been broken.


	2. Part 2

Rules are rules, but . . .

by SoulsFire (former PulsingSoul)

Chapter 2

_Rule Nr.2_

_Once you enter this Organization, we are everything and anything for you. _

The second rule she had learned. She had no family, no friends, just this Organization. Of course, her sister was alive, but she was something like a nice decoration, something there, so her life would not seem totally empty.

Her loyalty was not directed towards her sister. They rarely saw each other, yet they were each others only hope, the only string which attached them to normality. But even that was taken from her. Forcefully.

At first it was the isolation, the way they made her become the brilliant scientist, the way, they closed the doors of her laboratory while she was still inside. But then, it had escalated. Usually she was allowed to see her sister once a week. Soon, once a month. Eventually it had become once in three months.

And then, she had died by their hand. They had killed her sister for her inability to work more, to take more of their psychological abuse. They were just like Hitler in their way of torture. Most know only about the horrid torture methods Hitler used in his concentration camps, but there was more, a lot more. You see, all of those who survived said only one thing as to why they were able to do it,,They could weaken our body, but never our spirit. ¨

The Organization however considered mutilation something ugly, beneath them, only there for the commoners. For them it was the mind and soul that counted.

They had cabins so far buried in the woods that no one could see them. They brought all their new acquisitions to one of those, and left them there. Left them there, locked inside that cabin, listening to all the sounds of the night, a poison affecting the eyes so they saw only night even when it was day, and they were left there to survive with nothing more than liquids, the liquid after which they would be named.

Sherry . . . oh yes she remembered, she remembered it very well. The sounds which carried through that hut as if no wooden walls would separate her from the forest, the burning feeling of her drink down her throat, easily making her insides protest at such abuse, and then the feeling of utter solitude.

Because that was it. That was what it came down to. You wanted to live, to get through all of that, you needed a hell of a reason. And that reason was her sisters life. She had made it, had never let her guard down, had learned that seclusion was not only a punishment, but also a gift, the gift of keeping those you cared for unharmed.

Afterwards the stages had begun. She had become an operative, had started working on the APTX and had seen her sister sometimes. The visits became more rare, shorter, and soon there were none.

She didn´t know what was going on, feared for her sisters safety, so what was she to do? She realized that there was only one thing to do- turn against those who now called themselves their family, somehow manage to get out of this circle of crime, and then see her. See the one for whom she was fighting the temptations of an easy death.

Needless to say, they had caught her and had immediately left her to die, a slow and painful hunger death. But she was smarter, before giving them the satisfaction of seeing her in pain she would take her life.

There it all went wrong. Very wrong, for the poison didn´t have the effect she desired, the poison gave her the chance she always wanted, and that without even needing to make great escape plans.

She got out and she looked for her, days and days, and only then did she hear.

Dead. Dead. Dead.

She had no one left. No one. Alone in this world, living just so she could perhaps see those bastards go down, get a glimpse of revenge.

,Could you please tell me what you find so amusing in staying in a black pitched room for all day?¨

The voice startled her, made her turn around, and first her eyes needed to adjust to the light, and then she could see the contours of a figure standing in the door to the lab.

Kudo. Yes, of course, she had mentioned there was no moment of tranquility while he was around. He attracted trouble like a magnet. Like a very powerful magnet.

,Why don´t you tell me what you find so amusing in becoming my stalker?¨ she answered him sweetly, the sweetness of her voice making the boy gulp, acknowledging she was in no good mood.

,I´m not your stalker, I´m just fucking worried you´ll mutate into Batgirl!¨ And with that outburst he pushed the door till it hit the wall, the sound startling her almost.

She looked up at him expecting his face to show anger or something close to it, but instead she saw only . . . concern?

,Come on out and eat something Haibara, take a walk or something. You don´t even have to do it with me, just please do it.¨

And then he left. . . Left her to think, the door an invitation, an invitation to take up his offer.

_don´t have to do it with me...just please do it..._

She could come here, and close that door, she could close the window, refuse natural sunlight, and perhaps even nourishments, but ...

outside there was someone, someone who seemed to care.

So...

Maybe, just maybe she was not alone.


	3. Part 3

Rules are rules, but . . .

by SoulsFire (former PulsingSoul)

Chapter 3

_Rule Nr. 3_

_Your only loyalty will be directed towards this Organization._

Another rule she knew well. Never betray.

There was no use in betraying anyway. Those who joined the Organization either did so by their own free will, which meant they truly had no interest in just giving up all the wealth and power they obtained by joining, or by force, like she had.

Left by the parents to live the same dark life, or just left with no one in this world. No one would miss you. And if you grew up in a world full of death and hate, what would stop you from become an assassin?

Of course, the children were tested. She had been there herself. They were testing the children for their intelligence, their physical abilities, as well as for the emotional decay. She could only call it that. Emotional decay.

Some people are born with the same intelligence as Einstein, some are very good at sports, others though, might not be as lucky, and might be born with a frigid heart. A great man once said evil was nothing more than the absence of compassion. Very true indeed.

When you are born you have no compassion. You have to learn it.

It was true in her case. She had had little compassion, but had had it nonetheless and had learned that killing was not something you could do just for fun. Others, who did not have her chance, turned out perfect killer machines, because they were that, machines. People considered her emotionless, but what would they say if they saw them?

No betrayal. Never. It would kill you. Alone the thought was something which made you the next victim. The funny thing, she had never thought about it. Never. She knew when the thought had first occurred. The same time she had found out the APTX was working.

She had killed. Indirectly, but the poison she had created killed. She had thought that by her research she would stay out of this, and even when she found out her poison killed, she had thought it never depended on her to do the actual killing.

But she realized it. She realized that she was responsible. Not the Organization she was loyal to, no, but herself. What did loyalty mean to them? Oh yes, she knew what it meant to them very well, it meant giving up herself, losing every little spark of light which still resided somewhere in her soul.

That was not loyalty, was it? Loyalty was ... what?

Looking down, her eyes saw all the children playing in the school yard, saw them laughing, saw them yelling, arguing, some she saw even kissing. They . . . were loyal to one another, they would never do something to hurt the other.

Even her sister had hurt her. She had after all, fallen in love with Shuichi, had indirectly let herself be used and then killed. Her sister had helped her own killer. Didn´t she know? Did she not?

She had told her. She had. She had stayed in that Organization to keep her safe, and yet ...

She had been loyal, and had been betrayed by them all.

,Haibara, you can rarely find the meaning of life in just one brake." A quiet voice interrupted her thoughts.

This guy was irritating, and you must very well realize it too.

,Why don´t you go and annoy another? Ran must be free at this time. ¨

,You know Haibara I never gave you a reason to doubt me until now. I only ask for a chance. And for your information, I do not wish to annoy you, and if I do so, I will now leave you here to mope on the roof. ¨ He instantly thought about the chance of her commiting suicide, but brushed it off. No, not anymore, and he would be just behind that door, the door his blue eyes now looked at, nothing would happen to her.

He turned around. Was about to leave. But then she said it, her whisper so soft, it was almost untraceable, and yet the wind carried it to him as if it was a sacral call.

,If I give you the chance, will you honor it?¨

He turned around, his eyes wide with the surprise. He never expected her to give him the chance, no matter how much he wanted her to. He saw her turn around, scrutinized her figure, saw the way their eyes locked, neither caring about the harsh wind making the view almost impossible.

will try. I won´t make a promise Ai, but I will do my best to try. I am no God, and therefore I cannot know what will come, but I will never, never, knowingly hurt you or put you in danger.¨

She looked at him, and she knew it then.

He wasn´t them. He was Conan Edogawa, or Shinichi Kudo. He was someone who was not demanding, someone who didn´t want this chance just because she owed to him. He was asking.

He gave her the choice. The choice she was never given in the past.

He was treating her not as a murderer scientist, but as . . .

,Yes, you have your chance.¨

AN: the past chapters all showed Ai´s memories and thoughts, and they were fairly short, but they needed to be here. I wanted these chapters here, so we could all see into Ai, and the further chapters will slowly make you see into Conan too. Thanks for all the reviews! And don´t forget to review again!


	4. Part 4

Rules are rules, but . . .

Chapter 4

AN: Ok, in this story many things do not correspond to the manga or anime. Just act like you would know nothing else about Detective Conan, but the characters. What they do, think, and everything else, well, that´s my job! Thanks for the reviews!

_Rule Nr. 4_

_Do not trust anyone, not even yourself. _

She had given him a chance, and he still could not believe it.

Walking to his temporary home, he hummed a happy tune, kicking his soccer ball all the while. It made him strangely . . . proud.

He had worried for her for the longest time now, and yet he could not bring himself to go and tell her to open up and let someone in. After all, he was not doing it himself, and that with a person he loved.

Running up the steps to the detective agency he opened the door looking straight into the small kitchen. He saw her there, dressed in a blue knee-length skirt, a yellow blouse, a pink apron above. He heard her humming, the tune nothing like the deafening tune he used to hum, no, this one was . . . an image of Ai in the kitchen humming suddenly popped into his mind, making him chuckle with mirth.

,What´s so funny?¨ Ran asked smiling, making the small scene he was replaying in his mind shatter into pieces. Now why the hell had he been seeing that?

,Nothing.¨ He lied to her, something suddenly coming to his mind.

He lied. He consciously lied, and it was not the kind of lie where you first think to tell the truth and then opt for a lie, it was a lie, straight, no second thought about it.

,I´m going to stay over at Dr. Agase´s house for a while Ran, he needs me to help him with some of his experiments. ¨ Again, it had slipped out, so smoothly, like the way he used to lie to his parents when handling a case, but never had he lied to her, now he did not even notice it anymore.

She nodded at him, agreeing silently to whatever he wanted. She was cold suddenly, and she didn´t know why. She looked around and saw that Conan was gone, but the cold was there even before, it had been there for the last three weeks, but not like this. Never this . . . freezing.

Lying on her bed she closed her eyes, blocking out everything from the screeching noise of the old wood, to the soft rays of sun which filtered through the dark curtains.

For the first time in her life she felt empty. Truly empty.

She had never felt like this, something was always there to keep her from feeling this, this cold numbness. Every time she was sure to fall into the trap of her past she was held back. Her sister, the Organization, her duty to save her sisters life and then her own, and now she had been kept back by the wish to give Kudo his life back.

How had that changed?

_You have your chance ..._

She had given him the chance to gain her trust, and by gaining her trust he first had to do one thing . . . he had to prove he cared, prove that he cared not for the scientist who held the cure to his problem in his hands, but for the woman who had . . . who she was.

And he did. He did.

Now, she had no reason to hold back all the pain anymore, she could break down, not pretend that everything was ok, she could cry her eyes out and no one would laugh.

Tears . . . She felt them leave their eyes , roll down her cheeks, and yet on the inside she was numb, and she was cold.

What had he become? You are supposed to never lie to those you love, and he, he had not only done that, but he had done so much more, he had let his trust for her disappear. Not the circumstances were the ones who made him, he could have told her, like he had told Agasa, she was after all his best friend, the woman he loved, and yet he had chosen to keep it from her.

Her safety? Was it truly that? No, no, he could not hide behind that. There was nothing left to hide anymore. He was truly a hypocrite, preaching so often that the truth was the only thing which would never be able to go unnoticed, and yet, he had not noticed he was doing just that.

,Hey Shinichi-kun what are you doing here?¨ The Prof. suddenly asked him, closing the door after him.

,I´m going to stay here for a while, I hope you don´t mind.¨ Conan replied without even looking up at the Prof., his eyes instantly going to the laboratory door.

,She´s been in her room, although I first suspected the lab as well.¨

Conan looked up at him, his eyes curious and confused, but thanking the Prof. with a curt nod, he went up the stairs, knocking on Ai´s door, but getting no response, he opened it.

She was lying there, her arms outstretched like she was flying, and as silly as it was it reminded him of Kate Winslet in Titanic, a movie he before considered rubbish. Now, he would rethink at least that scene.

Her legs were dangling down the side of the bed, her black Capri´s showing off her slim legs, making him gulp when he realized just how long they were. She should play soccer, he thought with a smile, his eyes suddenly coming up to her serene face, a face he had never seen.

She was crying. Tears were flowing freely, but no muscle would move. Then he noticed them, the finer details. The way her eyelids fluttered , her lips were a slightly open, her hands looking as if they were in pain, her chest rising and falling rapidly, goose-bumps forming on her arms.

Walking closer to her, he made no sound, dared not even breath as he saw the way she looked, so . . . ethereal, so complete, so full of . . . of what? Sadness, pain, maybe, solitude?

Touching one of her hands gently with his, she immediately opened her eyes, looking to him.

She woke to the warm feeling racing up her arm enveloping her whole body, making her eyes lock onto Kudo´s. Neither of them felt the cold which seemed to be in the room, all they felt was the warmth which kept them together.

,Why ... why were you crying?¨ His question was so soft she would have almost missed it, but no, she heard it well, and suddenly the dam of her countenance broke, and she cried. She buried her face into his chest, clinging to him for dear life, letting everything out, once and for all.

All he could do was hold her, hold her to him, knowing that sometime after she would have no more tears left, he would tell her his troubles, and then, they could mope around in this room together.

Stroking her back in comforting patterns, he buried his face in her hair, holding her close to him, liking the way the sun danced through the room.

There was no cold. Not between them.

Trust is not only a gift, but also a choice.

And they had made the right choice braking that iron rule.


	5. Part 5

Rules are rules, but ...

by SoulsFire (former PulsingSoul)

Chapter 5

_Rule Nr. 5_

_Every sentiment or energy is either useful for this Organization, or useless. _

They had soon fallen asleep, both too tired to deal with anything else but sleep. Life, though, does not just stop because you´re tired. It would be really great if it would, but reality is far different.

When he woke up, his eyes adjusting to the now very very evil sunlight, which by the magic of Prof. Agasa had made it into the room, he instantly buried his head back into the soft pillow he was sleeping on.

Slowly he recognized the sophisticated perfume of someone he knew, and upon opening his eyes he suddenly saw perfect milky skin, so soft and so beautiful when warm rays of sun tiptoed across it.

Turning his head slightly, he found himself face to face with Ai, her face so close to his their breaths mingled. She looked . . . he had seen Ran when she was sleeping, and he had thought she was an angel, a beautiful angel, the comparison had seemed natural to him, but right now, he was lost.

He did not wish to compare her to anyone or anything for that matter. No one could do her justice, no one could be like her. She was not what anyone would call angelic, and the thought made him smirk, but she was . . . amazing, fragile, strong and so many other things.

Smiling, he suddenly noticed her eyes open, the intense blue gray of a morning mountain sky making him blush. He did not turn away though. How could he do that? Why would he do that? There was nothing he could hide from her . . .

He was half sprawled over her, yet she did not mind it, not one bit, it made her feel strangely warm and safe, feeling his arms around her waist, their legs tangled together. She was not going to move, no way . . . this actually felt . . . nice. And she was warm, even though that blasted window was open, letting all the sunlight in.

Just what was the Prof. up to? Wanting them to get a tan?

bet he just wanted us to wake up so we could finally leave for

that trip in the woods. With no water. With no heat. And oh, did I mention, no way to find a civilized human being, ourselves excluded, for miles. ¨

She smiled at him, a smile which clearly told him she enjoyed his mock sarcasm. Turning over onto the side, she made him turn as well, making him land on his butt.

,Ouch! What the hell were you trying to do, kill me? ¨

She was looking at him, one hand covering her mouth, her eyes showing that glint of maddening fun, her hand suddenly shaking, chuckles becoming outright laughs.

She had a great laugh. Not, too soft, not too loud, and even if it was something too ... something, he would not give a dam about it, to him it would still be great.

There was still one thing to which he objected : she was laughing at him. No, no, not nice at all.

Grabbing the pillow closest to him he threw it at her, and when it hit her, fair and square, he knew he was in big trouble, serious big trouble.

Prof. Agasa had had just about enough of the waiting, and was currently making his way up the stairs, when a twerp whooshed down beside him, a murderous looking Haibara holding a pillow in her hands, throwing it very closely to his head. Now, normally, he would not believe such an action being taken by Haibara, so it is only logical that a very good reaction could not take place, and thus the Prof. was hit by a gigantic pillow, while Conan was holding his stomach because of laughter, Ai looking plain shocked.

One hour later, a few shouts from Prof. Agasa having echoed throughout the house, Ai and Conan were sitting in the car, neither of them looking at the other, silently blaming each other for the sermon they had each received, now being punished severely, having to take their three little ,friends" on their trip as well.

Yes, the Prof. was indeed a very cunning torturer. Just to think of what he could have done during the Inquisition, developing seemingly harmless torture methods.

,Ok, well, now Simon says Conan has got to, got to, hmm, got to, jump on one foot.¨

Said person looked up, noticing the highly amused eyes of the girl sitting next to him, who was just daring him to get up and jump on one foot in a driving car.

Conan could not hide his look of dis contempt and much more, the look which clearly said ,how much stupidity can reign in the brain of these children, and especially Genta? ".

,I´ll do it once we´re at the camping site. "

A heavy sigh rose from his lips, while Ai smiled deviously at him, for the first time in her life behaving like a pouting child. She had never been a child, had never really had fun, had no friends.

Looking at the faces of the smiling children, listening to their game, she was very well aware, she could never make it up to herself. There was truly no use trying. A child should be a child when he or she still was a child. And she was not. She was someone who had lost every chance at innocence there was.

How could she ever ... have fun? Her sister was dead. Her parents were dead. She had ruined Kudo´s life, and had ended the life of many others.

A hand suddenly touched her own, squeezing it gently.

She looked back at him, cursing herself for ever thinking she could hide something from a detective, who could clearly see when she was upset. How could he see? How could he look into her eyes and see behind the facade she had spent years to build?

She was so easy to read, not as if he had known her for years, or as if he was a very skilled people reader, although he was, but with her that would have been of little, if not no use, at all. It was like he instinctively knew when she felt discomfort, when she felt sadness, or pain, like he had a mystery in front of himself, the only thing which remained to him, was solving it, all the clues being there.

They looked at each other, and it did not seem to matter anymore. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Death, danger, pain, what were they more but unsuccessful tries to live, to be happy, to allow yourself to be free of the guilt of the past?

, You´re Ai here, and I´m just Conan. "

The other three children looked at him as if he had grown another head.

,Of course you two are you two, what kind of sentence was that?" Ayumi said turning around to the front, shaking her head at the boy.

Ai however looked at him.

Not the scientist, nor the detective.

Just Ai and Conan.

Feelings are not useless, no matter how hurting or freeing they are. They are the ones who make us who we are. We don´t feel the same, no one can feel the same.

And yet, now, these two felt only one thing . . .

They felt safe and cared for in the others company.

Feelings are never useless.

Not the feelings that now began to grow in both their hearts.


	6. Part 6

Rules are rules, but . . .

by SoulsFire (PulsingSoul)

Part 6

_Rule Nr. 6_

_You only take orders from one member, yours will be appointed to you. _

_Dream sequence : _He was there, his gun pointed at her, her body numb with fear, and yet she felt more calm than she had ever felt. And then she had heard him, had seen when he rushed in front of the bullet destined to her, saw the blood rushing from his heart, and she did not care anymore, not about her life . . .

_End _

Ai, Ai wake up! "

His voice managed to drift through the fog which surrounded her brain, her eyes slowly opening, seeing a very concerned pair of other eyes in front of her. Conan seemed pale, very pale, and more so . . . concerned. Why did she suddenly have the desire to reach out and caress his cheek, tell him that everything was alright? Why was he so concerned anyway?

,You alright?" His voice had now lost that frantic tone, now he was relieved, had he been truly worried for her?

Her tongue darted over her dry lips, her eyes locking onto his, making him gulp once he realized how truly gorgeous she was. Even now, sweat clinging to her body, almost-tears sparkling in her eyes, her hair tangled from her disturbed sleep . . . he then saw it in her eyes, saw the small glimmer of fear.

,I´m ... " she could not even finish her statement, because she was instantly hugged close to him, her body crushed to his, her mind looking for reasons as to why this was happening in the first place .

_... only one member..._

Yes, that was why this happened. Because he was a shadow which loomed over her, ever since she had entered that maddening cycle. Tears spilled from her eyes, onto his shirt, her head resting in the crook of his neck. There was no need to pretend with him. No self defense mechanism, no walls, no curtains, no, with him she could cry and smile, it would not be her downfall. It would not be her downfall to enjoy only this one thing in life, now would it?

,What did you dream?" his voice was calm, now that he knew she was in safety. He needed to know that, ever since he heard her scream, he had immediately shaken her, before anyone else woke up, and he was silently congratulating himself on making the Prof. sleep in the same tent as Ayumi, and not Ai.

,Shinichi ... does it matter? "

Her voice was eerie, a tone of resignation in it, and yet you could hear the small aspiration to hope. He looked at her, his eyes questioning, and for the first time he realized she was just as strong as she was weak, and this was her way to make the last doubt disappear.

,Yes, it matters Shiho. It matters to me at least, but to so

many more as well."

She smiled sweetly, all tension leaving her body, for the first time being able to remember without the pain or regret. She always thought to be a person whose life was based on logic and reason, but once it came down to it, emotions dictated her life.

It is not logic which tells you to build up walls to survive, it´s fear. It is not reason which tells you to cry and shut up, just so another can live, that´s family love.

And lastly, it was neither of them who made her open up to him, that was l . . . no, no, no, it could not be that!

Looking up at him she searched his eyes, making him wonder just what was going on in that pretty little head of hers, when she pushed him back, running out of the tent as he was still trying to get off the forest floor.

Immediately he ran after her, instinct guiding him through the darkness. He saw only bits of her, her cherry blond hair, her cream shirt, her leg, her arm. She was dodging trees, running around them, only in socks just like him, and she tripped and fell, he was so close to touch her, when she turned around and looked at him with . . . fear.

This was different. He had seen her with fear in her eyes the time he had first sworn to protect her, he had seen her fear when she did not know whether to trust him or not, but this, this was . . . something close to terror.

He stopped. Stopped dead in his tracks. Looked down at himself, noticed his torn clothes, felt his feet bleeding, his lungs burning because of the run, and he could not touch her, and so she took that chance and ran...

She was afraid of him. Not even before, when she treated him with her cold superiority, did she fear him, and now . . .

No, damn it! He had sworn to protect her, and he would not go back from that! Never!

,AI! AI! Damn it, HAIBARA!"

His shout reached out for miles, the desperateness of it reaching her very heart, and it made her stop . She had a heart, and for the first time it was not beating just because of a duty, or because of a self-sacrificing wish, no, this time it was beating for a very selfish reason, well that, and the run.

It was beating because she needed him, it was beating because she wanted him, it was beating, because more than anything else, she loved him. But that would never do. It could never do. How could she stay with him, see how someday he would go to Ran, choose her, smile with her, laugh with her . . . he would love another, as he already did. And that would brake her.

But, she could do that, even if it hurt, could n´t she? Could she not stay by his side, be happy when he was happy? Be his friend, his confident, the one he would come to when he needed more than Ran? Or, even just an acquaintance? She had lived through that Organization, she could live through that as well.

,AI!" Would he be as worried for Mouri as he was for her?

,Seems someone is very desperate for you . . . Sherry".

No, it could not be, it should not be, it had been a dream, her heart was hammering wildly, every function of her body paralyzed because of the fear. Truly, this was not a very good time to realize she loved Kudo. She seemed to have lost something very important in the process, besides her heart that is, her ability to sense them.

Turning around she saw him, saw the gun he pointed at her, the cold steel touching her chest reminding her of how real this was.

,Jealous Gin? " She answered mockingly.

He heard it, heard the voice in which she said it, and he knew for a fact, only Gin would take a walk in the woods in the middle of nowhere at this very time of night, of course in the same area as the two of. . . no, he knew nothing of two, to them he, Shinichi Kudo, was clinically dead, only Shiho Myano had survived.

There was a chance to get her out of here, to get her to be safe. And he was going to make it not only a chance, but reality.

Walking near the cave´s entrance, he saw Gin standing in it, his face partially hidden by the shadows, Ai standing right in front of him, only her back to him. There was only one way, paralyze Gin and then they could both get out of here.

Which is exactly what he did.

,Ai run! " His voice echoed through the cave, her hand suddenly in his and then he was on the floor, clutching his waist, her head swimming not understanding until she saw the blood.

No, her dream . . . She went in his direction, not willing to leave him, ever, but ...

,Run! " He yelled at her, his eyes boring into hers, making her go, making her leave, even though this was not an order given

by Gin . . . it was an order given by the man she loved, a man who now stood the chance to die for her, and yet, it was an order, she obeyed . . .


	7. Part 7

Rules are rules, but . . .

by SoulsFire (PulsingSoul)

Part 7

_Rule Nr. 7 _

_The only goal of your life is to achieve the mission entrusted to you . _

She ran, ran through those dark wooded halls, trail after trail opening up in front of her, trail after trail, telling her to stop. But she could n´t. It had been an order, and orders were not meant to be taken lightheartedly. Tears were streaming down her face, and yet, she knew nothing of them.

She ran, ran and ran, until she became numb, until she could no longer feel the terror which took over her being, until she could comfortably ignore the pain in her chest, which told her, just how wrong it was to leave her only love alone, until ... she realized that this was not her running, no . . .

Shiho Myano ... she would not run. She would stay for those she cared about.

Sherry ... the one who had been tortured, who had seen the blood, yes, she would run ...

Ai, why would Ai run? She had Conan after all, at least to protect her...

Stricken by lightning she stopped. Who was she? What kind of person was she?

Memories from the Organization flooded her mind immediately, telling her she was a person whose only goal was to achieve a mission, but to what cost?

She was supposed to leave, supposed to leave him there, to not care about anything else but her mission, but that was not her.

Never would it be her, never again.

She turned around, her heart filled with fear and panic, and yet, she would n´t step back. She would look her fear in the eye, and she would not tremble, for she had something that no one else had ... she had the purity of selfless love in her heart, a love, which would probably be her demise, and yet a love, which would save her from the common destinies of this planet.

A mission ... the ultimate mission was to be herself. To know who she was, not what, not a killer, not a saint, not a cold hearted bitch, and maybe not the kindest person, but herself.

And ,herself´ demanded she go back.

´AHH! ´ he screamed, cursing himself, and his inability to think of the gun Gin obviously held in his hands.

Truly, it had been a good plan, but the plan went only to the point of getting her out of here, and the rest had been kind of fogged, even for him.

Instinct. It had been instinct, and usually he would spend at least 3 second to reevaluate that instinct, but this time, there had been nothing of that, why would there have been, he had only cared about one thing ... her ... Strange, how it had taken blood, for him to realize that she was actually the one he cared for.

He turned around, plan after plan already forming in his mind, truly he had no desire to die at the hand of him ... He would never stoop so low, hell, he would even prefer Kaito Kid killing him, but not the likes of Gin ... never.

´Who are you? ´ Gin´s voice, he realized smugly, betrayed some of the discomfort he must feel at having half of his body paralyzed, and it made him smile.

´That is for me to know and for you to find out. ´ He answered arrogantly, instantly regretting it, really the wound at his side, was not helping with the matters at hand. Gin´s eyes were locked onto that wound, and as he saw the smile on that creeps face, he

could n´ t help but look down as well.

Blood ... a pool of blood.

´Arrogant tones for someone who has about an hour to live.´ Gin told him smiling, his smile soon turning into a frown. ´But still, who the hell, do you think you are, interfering with my little Sherry?´

´She´s not yours. ´ He croaked out, the loss of blood, finally making him weary. Not so weary though, as to not notice Gin´s boiling anger at his statement, ha, he thought to himself, serves him right.

´Neither is she yours, dead man. ´ He was pointing at him, and Conan knew this was far from a joke. He would die ... for the first time, he realized, he actually did not mind dying, the terror he had seen on her face ... he would do anything to erase that, even letting himself get killed.

´Why should n´t I be, Gin?´

The voice, it startled them both, making Conan look behind Gin, his eyes growing wide ... he had told her to run. Gin on the other hand smirked, seeing the way she pointed that gun at him ... who would have thought that the body of an eight year old could hold the gun, he had priorly hidden here.

´He´s going to die Sherry.´

´I´m not Sherry. And what makes you so sure, you are not going to die first?´

Conan looked at her, listened, and for the first time, that was not the voice of a cold blooded murderer, it was not the voice of a tortured soul, it was the voice of a calm caring woman. And still, she was pointing that gun at Gin, yet he never suspected her to actually shoot that slime ball, not once.

She smiled at him, sensing his thoughts, and the next minute she shot into the cave walls, stone after stone knocking Gin to the ground.

She ran to him, her eyes locked onto his, and he could n´t help but smile.

She fell down beside him, her eyes instantly roaming his body, and upon seeing the wound ... how the hell was he still conscious?

´I told you to leave ... ´ he whispered to her, the fatigue finally getting to him.

She looked at him, searched his eyes, saw his small smile, and she smiled back, he was only taunting her, trying to belie his condition, what was she to do ...

She took his face between her hands, felt the chilly warmth of it, and still looking into his blue eyes, pressed her lips lightly to his.

The contact was electrifying, making both of them sigh with pleasure, and with the knowledge that they were n´t so unimportant to the other after all.

She broke apart from him, pressing her forehead against his, her smile shining even throughout the tears.

´Stay alive ... and I mean it, it´s a mission.´ She whispered gently.

´For you ... always ... ´

And with that he fainted, his soft reply being her only hope ...


End file.
